It’s all in my head, the awesomeness. I’m sure you could find someone who will tell you that I am good at something, a few could even do it with a straight face. But when you take all that I can and can’t do and average them together, I am, in fact, average. I admit this, but don’t always heed it.<\/p>\n
In my head, I can be all kinds of awesome. When I am by myself, and should be working on something, I get side tracked onto what I call monologues. I get started on a topic, it might be something I’m working on, it might be something random (that’s how this post got started), and I deliver a speech to the walls and windows. I might address the animals around me, but they’re often asleep.<\/p>\n
These monologues sound really good to me. They address the topic, they are eloquent, for me, and I think they could convince that unknown addressee to agree with me. As great as these are, most of the situations they address never arise. For those that do, the monologue loses its effectiveness. Why? Because I can only augment reality in my head. I control the questions and rebuttals that the imaginary addressee asks. Therefore, I can tailor my response exactly. In real life, that doesn’t work.<\/p>\n
That can be used to teach myself several things. One, my awesomeness is just as real as whoever I am talking to in my monologues. Yes, they are often based on real people, but they don’t exist as I imagine them to. Awesome is defined as extremely impressive, inspiring great admiration, extremely good\/excellent. That puts me out. Like all of us, I want to picture myself that way, but I’m not.<\/p>\n
That desire causes me to do things differently than I should. Even these posts are often affected. I start thinking that I could hit the blogging big time, and write as such. It’s entirely possible that others might read what I write, but it is not something I need to count on.<\/p>\n
There is a saying that, if you want to see how irreplaceable you are, stick your finger in water and see how much of a hole you leave. I prefer to look at it this way: stick your finger in putty (the kind that bounces and pulls up newsprint), and see what hole you leave. You’ll leave an impression, but as time goes by, it will fade away. After I’m gone, whether leaving the building or the world, people will be affected by me, but my efforts will fade. In the same way that my awesomeness fades when it leaves my head, my life is not as grandiose as I tend to picture it.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, I can also learn that I must look outside myself to see awesome on display. Any of my skills are readily outdone by someone else. There are better writers, better web designers, better everythings (with the exception of no one is better at being me, but that is a topic for another time).<\/p>\n
To truly see awesome, though, I will have to look outside this world. No ordinary human really matches the definition of awesome. I have to be careful when I take stock of what I can do. It is far too easy to think that I am better than I am.<\/p>\n
For example, I was reading recently about the temptation of Jesus. He had no food or drink for 40 days. I go through a gallon of water nearly every day. I go through food, too. To say that Jesus was hungry and thirsty would be an understatement in my opinion. Then, came the temptation. I am certain that I would have failed; Jesus never faltered. That is who you would have to go to see true awesomeness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s all in my head, the awesomeness. I’m sure you could find someone who will tell you that I am good at something, a few could even do it with a straight face. But when you take all that I can and can’t do and average them together, I am, in fact, average. I admit […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=424"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":428,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions\/428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grfxbox.com\/thb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}