I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard some variant of pray; prayer, praying, etc. There are the cute little maxims like, “The family that prays together, stays together.” There’s even the often said, rarely done, “I’ll pray for you.” What is prayer?

I can look at the dictionary definition all day long, but I don’t think that really covers it. Without looking, I’m guessing the dictionary says something like, “speaking to higher power or entity in order to receive something in return.” That is a common perception of prayer. I find myself using the viewpoint all the time, and I find myself fighting that viewpoint a lot recently.

Ignoring the dictionary for the time being, what would I say prayer is? I still rattle off that it is talking to God. At the very least, it is talking with God, which means I’m going to have to be quiet for part of the conversation. I would consider that a good working definition, but it is too vague.

There are many examples of prayers in the Bible, both Old and New Testaments. The prophets would pray for guidance or answers, and hear directly from God. Kings prayed for helped, some heard directly, others through prophets. Apostles spent time praying, Jesus has many examples listed in the gospels. Not all of these share the results on what the people praying heard.

If I am trying something new, or something I am not comfortable with, I like set steps I can follow. Prayer doesn’t come with that kind of instructions. In fact, I don’t know of any set format. I know that some people use the Accolades, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication (ACTS) format. But that is just meant to be a guide. I find myself following any type of format suggestions too rigidly. Formulaic prayers aren’t what God wants. He wants what’s on our hearts.

He knows all of it already, but He wants to hear it from us. Like telling a parent or child you love them. They generally know it, but it something just to hear it.

I guess one thing to keep in mind about praying is to do it.

There are all kinds of opinions on how to be positioned, standing, sitting, kneeling, eyes open, eyes closed. But, from what I understand, the position of your heart is much more important. Are you reveling in God, or in yourself? Are you humble, or prideful?

Most “formal” prayers, the ones that are done at a set aside time, end in “Amen.” The word is in the Bible, but how many people use it without knowing or thinking what it is? Do we use it in the sense of, “I’m done, so God, this is when You grant me my wishes?” Amen does signify the end of that prayer, but, from what I understand, it means something along the lines of, “So be it,” or “Make it so.” Not in the sense that we are ordering God around, but still praying in His will, that He do what is needed. Amen might be the end of the prayer proper, but it is just the beginning of the process.

Then, the part that has been on my mind, and that started this whole discourse. It comes before “Amen,” but I wanted to talk about it lastly. “I pray/ask/etc in Jesus’ name.” There are different ways of putting this, using a different name for Jesus; Christ, Your Son. But that is a minor issue, and I won’t tell you one is better than the other. What I wonder is do we think about what we are saying?

I have caught myself trying to make it into a signal that God pretty much had to not just hear me, but carry out what I just asked. Jesus told His disciples that whatever they (including us) prayed in His name, God would do. That sounds like we have magic words to use to get our way, but only on the surface.

What does it mean to pray, or do anything, is Jesus’ name? You can’t go around giving wedgies in His name. How does that share His love and forgiveness? Can you be selfish in His name? I guess you can try, but it sure won’t amount to much. For a prayer to be effective in Jesus’ name, it would have to align with God’s will. “I pray that the guy next door gets poison ivy because he didn’t invite me to play golf,” is not going to cut it. No matter how many times you invoke the name of Jesus, I don’t see that happening.

That sounds like a cop out, like a disclaimer that God put down in fine print. But, as a Christian, you aren’t supposed to go around wanting to punish people, even when they do wrong you. That part is some I struggle with, but is also a whole other story. When we start being “little Christs,” our wants and desires will start aligning with Christ. The desire to hurt people will be replaced with compassion.

With that in mind, praying in Jesus’ name will mean that we want the prayer answered in accordance with God’s will, not ours. On top of that, it won’t be the fake way, but genuine. If we tell someone that we will pray for them, we will.

Prayer is powerful, and is something that I don’t do enough. I don’t even do it correctly all the time when I do pray. I don’t know if there is a time when you become a prayer master. Like everything else, I’d say there is room for improvement no matter how “good” you are. I do know this, I’d like to get better. Not in the sense that people seek me out because of my eloquence, but that my prayers are sincere. I want my prayers to come from my heart, not my mind. I want to get away from having a to-do list for a good prayer, and a wish list for God.