What do you say when someone you know gets a terminal disease? Or they lose someone they love? Do you say nothing and just pat them on the back? Do you say that things will work out? Many of us have been in that position and not known what to say, or said the wrong thing. Frederick W. Schmidt uses what he went through with his brother’s illness and death to explore how to empathize with others in a way that will pass The Dave Test.

Our first inclination is to tell them that things will work out, and that God does have a plan. As true as that is, it is not always comforting. Schmidt gives 10 questions to ask yourself to see if a response will help or possibly hurt someone who is experiencing pain. Though the questions are straight-forward, they still need to be thought out. Some of the questions include: can you admit that the situation is terrible, can you not use Christian jargon, can I share their pain. With each of these questions, Schmidt explains how they help you help others, and why they should be considered before acting.

I agree with the overall concept of the book, not trying to mask the pain with rosy words and pretending like it isn’t there. I could do without the rough language. I know that the cuss words were quotes, but I am easily bothered by language like that because of the struggle it causes me, personally.

I know that we always need to try to walk beside those we come in contact with. Not ask them if they’re OK and turn aside before they answer, but actually care for them. I think Schmidt does a good job cautioning against trying to gloss over the pain people go through in life. All of us experience pain and loss, and having someone come and share it means a lot.

I received a free copy of The Dave Test in exchange for giving it an honest review.